FIGHT THE NEW DRUG!

Note: I thought I must share this from the Africa Christian Action.

Your brain is the powerhouse of your body. We all have one but we use it at different capacities. It is one of the most valuable things we possess. Thankfully we have skulls to protect our brain, but some people have done some pretty dumb things to put themselves at risk of losing this precious gift!

Let me tell you about another risk to your brain – a new drug. P*rnography is just as addictive as hard drugs such as heroin or cocaine. You might be thinking, “But how is it like a drug? You can’t sniff it or smoke it!”

P*rnography has been around for a long time but scientists are just beginning to understand how exposure to pornography affects you – how the effects of p*rnography on your brain are similar to those of hard drugs. P*rnographic images go into your brain through your eyes and trigger a release of chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. You brain becomes overloaded with chemicals. If you keep viewing p*rn, you build up a tolerance for it and you require harder core material to create the same rush. Your brain then becomes dependent on the rush of chemicals and you begin to believe that you can’t live without it.

The frontal lobes are the decision making centre of your brain. Viewing p*rnography damages that part of the brain. Your life begins to revolve around getting a fix. All you can think of is satisfying your addiction. All this happens when you think you are still in control.

You may be thinking, I can view p*rn and stay in control! But why risk it? After your first exposure, your brain rewires itself. An ex hard drug addict and p*rn addict says his p*rn addiction was harder to break than his drug addiction.

Nobody likes to talk about this topic. It’s uncomfortable to talk about, but you need to understand just how pervasive this new drug is and the threat that the p*rnography industry poses to you and your family. With an increasing amount of children having access to the Internet on their smartphones, it’s not a question of if you, or your children, will be exposed to it, but when.

•         The largest group of Internet p*rnography users are youth between the ages of 12 and 17.

•          The average age of exposure to p*rn is 11.

•          Every second, 30 000 people are viewing p*rn on the Internet.

•          30% of p*rn addicts are women.

Stages of addictionAnyone who considers p*rnography to be a harmless ‘entertainment’, should consider the insidious ‘slippery slope’ of the continued viewing of p*rnography. Dr Victor Cline, a clinical psychologist at the University of Utah, USA, described the four-step process whereby a person becomes addicted to p*rn:

 

Step 1:           Addiction to the material and repeated return to it for sexual excitement. Cline says this addiction is so powerful that his severely affected clients have to use medications such as Depo Prover to try reduce the s*x drive and eliminate s*x fantasies and may need to attend Sexaholics Anonymous for up to four nights a week to achieve sobriety and break the stranglehold of their addiction. Virtually no casual user/viewer of p*rn is exempt from the addictive effect of exposure to it. The accessibility and anonymity of p*rn on the Internet increases the danger.

 

Step 2:           Escalation in the individual's need for more explicit, deviant and sexually shocking material to achieve the same level of sexual stimulation.

 

Step 3:           Desensitisation towards initially gross and shocking material so that, in time, this material becomes acceptable and desirable to the viewer.

 

Step 4:           Increased tendency to start ‘acting out’ sexual activities seen in p*rn. Not everyone who views p*rn will rape, but the likelihood of committing rape goes up.

Don’t you see how viewing p*rn can enslave you and possibly lead you to harm others – even those you love?

The p*rn industry wants to get you hooked, so that they can make more money out of you!

Watching p*rn is viewing abused, drugged prostitutes Research indicates that about 60–80% of women, who work in the s*x industry,  were sexually abused as children. It is very rare to find ‘p*rn stars’ who started out of a freely chosen desire. Along with poverty, broken families and lack of education, childhood abuse is very common. Many ‘p*rn star’ actresses admit they experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbours. Then some of them ended up as teenage runaways and were picked up by pimps. They were taught at a young age that sex makes them valuable. They only escape one circle of abuse by entering another; they can't run from the pain so they go towards it. Fast forward a few years and they find themselves drunk and drugged on a p*rn set, as they re-live the same abuse they experienced growing up. Ex p*rn performer, Shelley Lubben, has documented how hundreds of ‘p*rn performers’ that she knows of, committed suicide.

Imagine a picture of a naked black man in a dog collar, on a leash, on all fours. The image is appalling. It would be regarded as racist by most people. Yet this is a very common way women are depicted in p*rn.

Free speech or sex slavery?
Former Senior Advisor on Trafficking for the Office for Democracy and Global Affairs US State Department, Laura J. Lederer, summarised the link between p*rn, prostitution and trafficking in the following four points:

1. Some types of p*rnography actually use trafficked victims, some of which were recruited via fake job advertisements.

2. Some traffickers film the acts that their victims are forced to perform.

3. P*rnography is used in sex trafficking and the sex industry to train women and children what to do.

4. P*rnography creates and provides rationalisations for exploiters as to how and why their sexually exploitive behaviors are acceptable.

If you view or buy p*rn, you are helping to perpetuate and fund modern-day slavery (human trafficking)!

How to Block P*rn on the InternetPlace a good filter on your computer that can prevent you, or your children, accessing, or stumbling on porn websites. South Africa’s only family friendly Internet Service Provider that uses the best filtering software available is www.virtuenet.co.za. Virtuenet recommends www.k9webprotection.com as the best free web filter. Internet accountability services (which track the websites visited and send these to an accountability partner) can be downloaded from www.covenanteyes.com.

See the www.purehopeblog.net for excellent short articles on cultivating a pure lifestyle for and with your family.

How to Block P*rn on Your PhoneP*rn websites can be blocked from a Vodacom phone by dialling *111*123# from the cell phone you want to block and from an MTN phone by dialling *101# and following the menu prompts. (Cell C and 8-ta do not yet have porn website-blocking features). These only block websites and not SMSs or MMSs.

Parents should not give their children BlackBerry handsets using a BIS (Blackberry Internet Service) subscription. As BlackBerry uses their own private network which encrypts the data, this will render both Vodacom’s and MTN’s parental controls useless.

 

Visit www.cellphonesafety.co.za for useful information on blocking porn websites on all types of cell phones, disabling apps, cell phone addiction and more.

“Jesus said: ‘Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?’ Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’” John 8:32-36

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Become a fighter!

Addicted? Need help? Call STOP: 083 463 4762 or Christians for Truth:  082 807 2831 for counselling.

For youth resources, including articles and videos you can share on social media, visit http://frontline.my-mailer.com/link.php?M=2365&N=868&L=824&F=H. Invite Africa Christian Action to give a Fight the New Drug presentation at your school assembly or youth group.

Contact Christian Action for tips on protecting your family and resources for fighting the p*rn plague.

Download this article as a tract here.

See also:The Bible and P*rnography
Finding Freedom from P*rnography
The Secret in the Pew – Hope for the P*rn Addict
How to Block P*rn On Your Phone

Resources Available
Every Young Man’s Battle DVD (58 minutes, R155)
Somebody’s Daughter DVD (62 minutes, R135)

Available from Christian Liberty Books: Email: admin@christianlibertybooks.co.za, or Tel/fax: 021-689-7478, http://frontline.my-mailer.com/link.php?M=2512&N=615&L=37&F=H.

Africa Christian Action
PO Box 23632
Claremont
7735 Cape Town

South Africa
Tel: 021-689 4481
E-mail: info@christianaction.org.za
Web: http://www.christianaction.org.za/

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“Marriage is so last century!”

“Marriage is so last century!” said a colleague during a conversation to a group of us during a tea break. When I heard that, it dawned on me that I got married last century! “Wow, maybe she has a point”, I thought to myself.

Then I read a headline online, “Is Marriage obsolete?” by ABC World News. “Not only are more marriages on the rocks these days, so is marriage itself, according to a new study by the Pew Research Center” wrote Jessica Hopper.

What is marriage, anyway? I know a couple, Thabo and Lulu (not their real names). After a few years of being in a relationship (not complicated as some facebookers would say), Thabo sent his family to Lulu’s to ask for her hand in marriage. So in January 2010, Thabo’s family went to Lulu’s family, who named their lobola (dowry). In June 2010, Thabo sent his family to pay the lobola. In November, Thabo and Lulu went to the magistrate’s offices to sign the “marriage register” and came back with their marriage certificate. They then started planning their wedding. So, in September 2011, they had a fabulous wedding in their church officiated by their pastor. Their four year old daughter was the flower girl in her beautiful pink dress.

I ask again, what is marriage, anyway? When did Thabo and Lulu get married? Did they get married in June 2010 when Thabo paid the lobola? Or did they get married in November 2010 at the magistrate’s offices? Their marriage certificate says they got married on 19 November 2010. Or did they get married on 24 September 2011 at their church? Or did they get married on 30 September 2007 when Lulu moved in with Thabo at his townhouse after their daughter was born? Or did they get married on New Year’s Day 2007 when Thabo and Lulu “moved their relationship to the next level” and had sex for the first time?

For us to know when Thabo and Lulu got married, we must know what marriage is. Only when we know what marriage is, shall we know whether “marriage is so last century”, or whether it is even obsolete.

I want to address the question of marriage, “unmarried” couples living together, sex before marriage, polygamy, serial monogamy, and other related issues. This article is not for sensitive readers, but it is not x-rated.

Marriage has several dimensions, that is, the spiritual dimension, the socio-cultural dimension, and the legal dimension. The latter two are human inventions.

The original dimension of marriage is the spiritual dimension. This is what God instituted when he created humans male and female. In this dimension, marriage is consummated by sexual intercourse. The first time a couple have sex, that’s the time they get “married”. It is on the basis of that sexual act, that God fuses the man and the woman into one flesh. As it is written, “they become one flesh”(Gen. 2:24, NRSV). It does not matter whether it is two teenagers having sex, or two colleagues having an office fling, or a man picking up a prostitute in the street and taking her to a hotel room, or a man having sex with his wife on their wedding night. That act constitutes marriage!

“And don’t you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” (1 Cor. 6:16, NLT). When Rebekah arrived with Abraham’s servant, it says that “Then Isaac took Rebekah into his tent; he married her, and thus she became his wife.” (Gen. 24:67, New American Bible). There was no wedding, no fanfare, no magistrate. He simply took her into the tent, had sex with her, and they were married!

In the Old Testament, God told Moses to tell the people of Israel, “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to anyone and sleeps with her, he must pay the customary dowry and accept her as his wife.” (Exo. 22:16). Regarding people ordained as High Priests, God gave this instruction: “The high priest must marry a virgin. He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution.” (Lev. 21:13-14, NLT).

Talking about divorce, Jesus said, “a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matt. 5:32, NLT).

What does all this mean? It means that a man and a woman become one flesh when they have sex together. When two teenagers have sex as virgins, they are de facto getting married. When a man has extramarital sex with another woman, he has effectively divorced his wife, and married the mistress he is sleeping with. When a polygamous husband sleeps with his wives, he effectively divorces and remarries each time he sleeps with any of them. When a man picks up a prostitute, he effectively divorces his wife and becomes one flesh with the prostitute. This is why premarital or extramarital sex is prohibited by the orthodox Christian teachings. It is not prohibited on social, cultural, moral or even religious grounds. It is prohibited on spiritual grounds. It is because of what sex means. Sex = Marriage.

When a virgin sleeps with a person for the first time, God makes the virgin one flesh with the other person. “Making one flesh” is a deep spiritual truth which goes into the very being of the couple. That is why many people, after they are divorced, they end up with the same kind of person they divorced. In fact, they may divorce and remarry ten times; they will more often than not end up with the same kind of person. It is probably because the first sexual relationship they had made them one flesh with that kind of person, and their soul continues to look for that person.

Most polygamous men marry the same type of woman. Why? It is probably because they have been made one flesh with that kind of person. Every time they look for a spouse, their soul is yearning for a particular kind of person. It is extremely dangerous to have premarital sex or extramarital sex. It is like having organ transplant without checking for organ compatibility. It is a medical disaster. In this case, it is a spiritual disaster.

By his grace, God can undo the spiritual damage you do to yourself by having premarital or extramarital sex, but the scars remain for the rest of your life. It is just not worth it.
Going back to our couple, Thabo and Lulu, they got married on 1 January 2007 “when they took their relationship to the next level". “The socio-cultural and legal dimensions of marriage were human inventions to deal with promiscuity. Speaking of divorce, Jesus said “Moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matt. 19:8-9, NLT). When the disciples understood what Jesus was saying to them, they said, “Then it is better not to marry!” (v. 10)

Throughout the ages, societies and different cultural groups started defining what it means to get married. So in many African cultures, we still have a practice of paying lobola to designate the beginning of a marriage. In western cultures, they added a legal requirement, which is what we call a civil marriage. So married couples are given a certificate of marriage. Of course many of these certificates are not worth the paper they are written on, because even as they sign at the magistrate, they are still involved in extramarital relationships.

You will be surprised to even hear that even the wedding in the church is a cultural invention by Christians. Christians do not have to be married in a church to be spiritually married. Wedding celebrations come in many forms around the world. Most of them are good, but they do not constitute the marriage. The wedding tradition is a great tradition, and I encourage Christian youth to get married in this way, and to remain celibate until their wedding night, when God will make them one flesh with their husband or wife. The wedding itself does not constitute the marriage. It is the sex on that wedding night that consummates the marriage.

Is marriage so last century? Of course not! As long as sex is happening, marriages are taking place all the time. In fact, Jesus said that “Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also will it be in the days of the Son of Man. People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage." (Lk. 17:26-27, NIV). Marriage is not about to become obsolete. There will be more of it until Jesus returns.

We live in a confused, messed up society which does not know what marriage is anymore. What we now call marriage is the devil’s lie to hide the truth of what damage we are doing to ourselves when we have premarital or extramarital sex. “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Cor. 6:18, NLT) Don’t do it!

If you are living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, surprise-surprise! You are married! You may just as well legalize it. Make it official. Pay the lobola or go to the magistrate, or call your pastor today. If you break up, you are as good as divorcing. Those who have gone through break ups, will tell you that the pain is as bad as getting a legal divorce. You see, the heart knows it is not just a break up, it is divorce. I hope this article will stop you in your tracks, and make you do the right thing. God bless you.

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