Confessions of a Xenophobic Pastor

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South Africa’s past is synonymous with Apartheid. However, a new tag may soon overtake the apartheid tag – Xenophobia, crudely defined as discrimination against foreigners.

My wife traveled to one of the African countries earlier this year (no, it was not Zimbabwe – not that I don’t like Zimbabwe. I love it, and was there for a week recently myself). Her host, who was driving her to the airport was stopped by a traffic policeman. The policeman spoke to the driver in a local language she could not understand. The policeman asked the driver where he was going. He mentioned that he was taking his South African passenger to the airport for a flight home. On hearing that she was South African, he remarked: “Oh, she is South African? Let her come out so that I can show her what Xenophobia is.” (Of course he was joking. He immediately released them so that she did not miss her flight.)

“Are you xenophobic?” I often ask my friends and acquaintances. Of course, their responses are not different to when you ask somebody: “Are you racist?” The answer is often: “Me? No. No way! I like Zimbabweans/Mozambicans/Blacks/etc.”

People have come up with all kinds of reasons why xenophobic attacks took place in South Africa recently. The most common reason given is that it is because of poor service delivery. Of course the government did not buy this explanation. They commissioned their own fact-finding team into the trouble spots to establish the causes of these attacks. Their conclusion was that this was a work of criminals and a “third force”, whoever that is.

As a South African, I had to engage with the issue as well. “Am I xenophobic?” I decided to unpack the whole concept, and not simply tell myself that I am not xenophobic. As usual, my starting point when it comes to the condition of our society and human behaviour in general, is to begin in the Christian Holy Bible. Although I am a Psychology graduate, I have since found that psychology; sociology; anthropology and other related social sciences have a big weakness in their theoretical make up.

My first quest was to understand why humans fight each other in the first place. I found out that James, a Jewish believer from the first century, gave an answer about the causes of fights and wars almost 2000 years ago:

“²What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? ² You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.” (James 4:1-2 NLT)

Of course this was not James’ wisdom. It was inspiration from the Triune God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Christian Holy Scriptures are inspired by God: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.” (2 Tim. 3:16 NLT)

The root cause of human conflict is resources/opportunities. Those who live in war-torn DRC, or in Angola during the 1980s, or in Sudan, Palestine, Iraq or any other conflict-ridden country, will tell you that their oil, diamonds or gold has turned out to be their curse instead of a blessing. As you can see, those who said xenophobia was due to poor service delivery were partly correct. People were fighting over limited houses and jobs. The government was not completely wrong either. As it turned out, in most of these xenophobic attacks people looted the shacks of foreigners for their possessions, and even their small shops.

One social networker on Twitter lamented the problem on Twitter: “…the brutality of an African on another baffles me. Colonialists and slave traders I can understand. But our own kind?”

Once again, I find that the Christian Holy Scriptures are the best place to start. In the Genesis creation account, we read that God created creatures according to their own kind. However, there was another creature he created according to its own kind. This creature was called human. Human is translated from the Hebrew word adam, the name of the first human. Of all the creatures, God created humans one of a kind. He only created a male, and created the female out of the male. Therefore, there is no difference between male and female humans, except their genitalia. God even said the male and female humans will marry and become one, because they were originally one of a kind (but this is a topic for another day).

When we don’t see ourselves as humans, of one kind, we start inventing our own identities. When we see foreigners as of another kind, and not our own kind, we start discriminating against them, because they are not one of us. For example, I used to see myself as a Muvenda, but I don’t see myself that way anymore (if you are Muvenda, please read to the end before you stone me).

Humans are social creatures. They don’t like getting lost in the sea of other billions of humans. Therefore, they create new identities. Several hundred years ago, some humans developed a slang ( slang is jargon/words used by a group of humans to understand each other). This slang is now called Tshivenda language. Those that spoke and understood this slang called Tshivenda started calling themselves Vhavenda. All other language groups came about this way since the time of Babel (Genesis 11).

You see, Tshivenda and Vhavenda did not exist a thousand years ago. Neither did the English, the Afrikaners, the Zulus, the Basothos, and many other nationalities. It is the same with cultures. They are social inventions by humans, driven by location, time and circumstance.

When humans identify themselves by their language, culture or their GPS location on the earth, they misrepresent their own identity. Three years ago, I met one of Africa’s greatest minds in Oxford, England. His name is Eddie Obeng. By original location of his parents, he is originally from Ghana. As we were having tea, somebody asked him a question: “So, Eddie, where are you from?”

Eddie responded in a way that stayed with me since then. He said: “Do you mean where am I from this morning, last week, last year, ten years ago, thirty years ago, hundred years ago, a thousand years ago, or six thousand years ago?” Of course Eddie knew what the person who asked the question meant. He was just making a point. If he said he was from London, he did not know what we thought of Londoners. If he said he was from Africa, or Ghana, or Kumasi, or that he is Ashanti, he did not know what our attitudes are to those identities. We would put him in a box, and he did not like that.

If I call myself a Muvenda, I define my origins as being less than a thousand years old. If I define myself as a South African, my origins are less than five hundred years old. If I define myself as a Guatenger (somebody from the Gauteng province of South Africa), I define my origins as less than ten years old. As you can see, my identity is what I see my origins to be.

As a converted xenophobic pastor, I had to redefine my origins. Now I see myself as a human, a descendant of Adam, the first human. I am not a Muvenda, but you may call me that if calling me human leaves you feeling short-changed.

When God started the Christian church two thousand years ago (church is simply a group of Christian believers), he started by breaking down the main human symbol of identity in human society, namely, language, because he wanted the church to be comprised of humans, and not Jews, not Greeks, not Romans, not males, not females, nor rich, nor the poor from the other side of the tracks. This is what happened on the Day of Pentecost, the day the church started in its current form.

^“4 And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability… ⁶ When they heard the loud noise, everyone came running, and they were bewildered to hear their own languages being spoken by the believers. ⁷ They were completely amazed. “How can this be?” they exclaimed. “These people are all from Galilee, ⁸ and yet we hear them speaking in our own native languages! ⁹ Here we are—Parthians, Medes, Elamites, people from Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, the province of Asia, ¹⁰ Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, and the areas of Libya around Cyrene, visitors from Rome ¹¹ (both Jews and converts to Judaism), Cretans, and Arabs. And we all hear these people speaking in our own languages about the wonderful things God has done!”(Acts 2: 4-11 NLT)

Paul having gotten the point of what the church was, changed his view of believers and people in general. He made this point repeatedly in his writings:

^“26 For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus... ²⁸ There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal. 3:26,28 NLT, see also Rom. 3:9; 3:30; 10:12; 1 Cor. 10:32; 12:13; Col. 3:11).

Jesus became a human, and died for humans, so that humans can become humans again, as God created them to be. He removed the wall that divided humans, namely, language, culture, location, gender and social status. “¹⁴ For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us.” (Eph. 2:14 NLT)

So, are you xenophobic? It is a matter of how you see or define yourself, or what your assumed identity is. If you are anything other than human, you will be surprised at what humans may become when an opportunity arises. Ask the Rwandans. Ask the South Africans. Ask the Germans. Ask the Americans and British slave owners. Ask the Zimbabweans.

You see, when there is only one peanut left, and somebody must have it, it most often will be Takalani Musekwa, and not Bizza Musekwa. Why? Because for some strange reason, Takalani has a right to the peanut, and not his brother.

Thank God he has saved me from the foolishness of my old identity. Our South African Constitution Fathers, had the foresight to state in the preamble of the South African Constitution: “We, the people of South Africa, Believe that South Africa belongs to all who live in it, united in our diversity.” You have heard my confession. Are you xenophobic?

A Donkey Story

Years ago when I was about 9 or 10, my mother used to send me to a shop about 5 km from home. For about 4 km to the shop we walked through a deserted road through the bush. One day as we were walking back from the shop with my cousin, we saw a donkey cart coming from behind us heading to our village, same direction as we were going. Donkey carts were the most common mode of transport for the "middle class" of the village. There was only two men in the whole village who had cars at that time.

My cousin and I got excited when we saw the donkey cart. It was common courtesy that those with donkey carts will give lifts to pedestrians like us when they find them on that stretch of road. As the donkey cart approached we raised our hands to hitch a lift. The man, who was probably in his late 20s or 30s, started hitting the donkeys harder for them to run faster as he approached us. We were devastated when he passed and did not stop.

After passing us, the man stopped hitting the donkeys, so they slowed down and started walking. When they were about 200 metres further down the road, the donkeys actually came to a standstill. The man started hitting them hard again, and the two donkeys would not move. When we about 100 metres from them, the one donkey bent his knees, and then lied on the ground. The other donkey followed suit as he was pulled down by the other one. The man got off the donkey cart and started hitting the donkeys even harder. There is a saying, "As stubborn as a mule", but after what I saw that day, I think the donkeys are more stubborn. As we got to where the man and his donkeys were, he was sweating and angry, and we dared not say anything to him.

As we were passing, he asked us to get on the donkey cart and hold the reins as he continues hitting the donkeys. My cousin and I jumped at the opportunity. As soon as we boarded the cart, the two donkeys got on their feet and started walking! The man jumped onto the donkey cart, and before he hit them again, they started jogging. He never had to hit them again, they jogged all the way to the village, with my cousin and I nicely seated next to the man. We said nothing to each other all the way, and he said nothing either.

When we got to the village he dropped us us next to my home and he proceed to his house further into the village. As we were walking home, we talked about the strange behaviour of the donkeys, and how kind they were to us. It was an incident incident I could not forget.

Years later I read a story in the bible about a man called Balaam and his donkey. When I read it, it sounded so familiar, that I knew why those donkeys behaved that way when I was 10 years old. Here is the story of Balaam and his donkey:

The story is found in the book of Numbers 22:21-33
"21 So the next morning Balaam got up, saddled his donkey, and started off with the Moabite officials. 22 But God was angry that Balaam was going, so he sent the angel of the LORD to stand in the road to block his way. As Balaam and two servants were riding along, 23 Balaam’s donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand. The donkey bolted off the road into a field, but Balaam beat it and turned it back onto the road. 24 Then the angel of the LORD stood at a place where the road narrowed between two vineyard walls. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, it tried to squeeze by and crushed Balaam’s foot against the wall. So Balaam beat the donkey again. 26 Then the angel of the LORD moved farther down the road and stood in a place too narrow for the donkey to get by at all. 27 This time when the donkey saw the angel, it lay down under Balaam. In a fit of rage Balaam beat the animal again with his staff.
28 Then the LORD gave the donkey the ability to speak. “What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times?” it asked Balaam.
29 “You have made me look like a fool!” Balaam shouted. “If I had a sword with me, I would kill you!”
30 “But I am the same donkey you have ridden all your life,” the donkey answered. “Have I ever done anything like this before?”
“No,” Balaam admitted.
31 Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the roadway with a drawn sword in his hand. Balaam bowed his head and fell face down on the ground before him.
32 “Why did you beat your donkey those three times?” the angel of the LORD demanded. “Look, I have come to block your way because you are stubbornly resisting me.”

Recently, I came across another donkey story that reminded me of my donkey story. It goes like this:

A man once left home on a long journey. He took with him a donkey and a mule. He placed all his goods and luggage on the donkey’s back, and though he walked most of the time, he would occasionally ride the mule.
The donkey carried his load easily. He was accustomed to bearing heavy burdens. But when the three travelers began to climb the side of a steep mountain, his load became too heavy to bear.
The donkey, struggling under his load, turned to the mule and asked him to help carry some of the load, explaining that he would gladly take the full burden back again after they had climbed the mountain. But the mule refused to help even a little bit.
Before long, the donkey slowed and collapsed beneath his load. Though the man beat him mercilessly, he was too weak to go any farther.
Not knowing what else to do, the man began unloading the packs from the donkey’s back and placed the entire load on the mule. Then, leaving the donkey where he had fallen, the man and the mule continued the journey.
The mule, groaning beneath his heavy burden, said to himself, “It serves you right. If I had only been willing to help the poor donkey, I would now be bearing half the load I carry, and would have a friend besides.”

The common theme of these donkey stories, two of which are real stories, including mine, is about kindness. I have no doubt that God had pity on me and my cousin that day, and decided to stop those donkeys so that we could get a lift. I don’t know whether that man ever got the message, but I got the message loud and clear. When you have an opportunity to be kind, don’t be like the man from my village, or even the mule. Show some kindness. In fact, you will find that when you are kind, you receive kindness in return. That’s how God’s triune life between Father, Son and Holy Spirit is. That’s the life God wants us to share in, today, tomorrow, and forever into eternity.

Kindness is good for you, not just the person you are being kind to. Patience is good for you, not just for the person you are being patient with. Love is good for you, not just for the person you are loving. “You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:35.

The 21st Century Pharisees

When Jesus walked the streets and hills of Galilee, he often met the religious leaders of the day. He often took the opportunity to correct some of their thinking and practices that he found to be in error. In reading about some of the things he said, you might think that Jesus despised the Pharisees and other religious leaders of the day. Nothing can be further from the truth. Jesus loved the Pharisees, but he sought to correct their misguided thoughts and attitudes.

On one occasion, Jesus was invited for a meal by a Pharisee (the Pharisees loved Jesus as well, though their motives might not have been as honourable). On this occasion, which is recorded in Luke 11:37 – 53, Jesus’ host was surprised when he sat down for the meal without engaging in the ceremonial washing of hands as per Jewish custom. Knowing what his host was thinking, Jesus took the opportunity to set some matters straight.

A few years ago I got very angry when the government legalised abortion in South Africa. Many Christians were more vocal than I have been about the issue, although I was as disturbed as they were about it. They collected signatures to petition the government, they picketed in front of Parliament. I personally signed one petition circulated via e-mail.

Recently I have wondered about what Jesus’ opinion would be about such matters? I have tried to imagine what he might say if he walked the streets of Accra, Harare, Johannesburg, Kampala, Lagos, or Nairobi today. Looking at his approach to religious issues of his day, this is what I saw in my mind’s eye.

I saw Jesus coming across a large Christian demonstration in front of Parliament, where the legalization of abortion is being discussed. A Christian journalist rushes forward to get Jesus’ comments on both the demonstration and the immoral politicians inside parliament. “Lord, what do you say about the legalisation of abortion being discussed here today?” the journalist asks.

Turning around to face the crowds, Jesus starts to speak, and all the chanting of slogans stops. In his typical style, Jesus ignores the journalist’s question, and addresses the attitudes, thoughts and religious opinion behind the question.

“Woe to you religious people! For you are quick to condemn the mother who aborts her baby, yet you turn a blind eye to the plight of thousands of homeless, hungry, street children who roam your streets!”

“Woe to some of you religious people! For you are quick to condemn the young orphaned girls who prostitute themselves to survive, yet you won’t support the orphans and widows in your churches!”

“Woe to you religious people! For you are quick to condemn the corrupt politicians who pass immoral laws, instigate civil wars and plunder their countries, and you turn away the refugees who turn up at your borders.”

“Woe to you religious people! For you are quick to condemn the greedy company executives and directors who defraud their shareholders of millions of dollars, yet you yourselves defraud my Father of his offerings every month!”

When Jesus turned around to talk to the journalist, he found that he had run off down the street to take pictures of a pro-abortionist and Christian demonstrator who were exchanging some very unkind words.

“But Lord, aren’t prostitution, abortion, corruption, civil war, fraud and all these other things wrong?” asks one of the Christian leaders leading the demonstration.

“Oh my friend! It is not a question of whether these things are right or wrong. Indeed those things are wrong. However, it is about how you respond to these wrongs. Do you criticise and condemn, or do you show love and support to the victims of these wrongs? My Father "desires mercy and not sacrifice". As for the politicians inside this parliament, show them respect and pray for them.”

FIGHT THE NEW DRUG!

Note: I thought I must share this from the Africa Christian Action.

Your brain is the powerhouse of your body. We all have one but we use it at different capacities. It is one of the most valuable things we possess. Thankfully we have skulls to protect our brain, but some people have done some pretty dumb things to put themselves at risk of losing this precious gift!

Let me tell you about another risk to your brain – a new drug. P*rnography is just as addictive as hard drugs such as heroin or cocaine. You might be thinking, “But how is it like a drug? You can’t sniff it or smoke it!”

P*rnography has been around for a long time but scientists are just beginning to understand how exposure to pornography affects you – how the effects of p*rnography on your brain are similar to those of hard drugs. P*rnographic images go into your brain through your eyes and trigger a release of chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. You brain becomes overloaded with chemicals. If you keep viewing p*rn, you build up a tolerance for it and you require harder core material to create the same rush. Your brain then becomes dependent on the rush of chemicals and you begin to believe that you can’t live without it.

The frontal lobes are the decision making centre of your brain. Viewing p*rnography damages that part of the brain. Your life begins to revolve around getting a fix. All you can think of is satisfying your addiction. All this happens when you think you are still in control.

You may be thinking, I can view p*rn and stay in control! But why risk it? After your first exposure, your brain rewires itself. An ex hard drug addict and p*rn addict says his p*rn addiction was harder to break than his drug addiction.

Nobody likes to talk about this topic. It’s uncomfortable to talk about, but you need to understand just how pervasive this new drug is and the threat that the p*rnography industry poses to you and your family. With an increasing amount of children having access to the Internet on their smartphones, it’s not a question of if you, or your children, will be exposed to it, but when.

•         The largest group of Internet p*rnography users are youth between the ages of 12 and 17.

•          The average age of exposure to p*rn is 11.

•          Every second, 30 000 people are viewing p*rn on the Internet.

•          30% of p*rn addicts are women.

Stages of addictionAnyone who considers p*rnography to be a harmless ‘entertainment’, should consider the insidious ‘slippery slope’ of the continued viewing of p*rnography. Dr Victor Cline, a clinical psychologist at the University of Utah, USA, described the four-step process whereby a person becomes addicted to p*rn:

 

Step 1:           Addiction to the material and repeated return to it for sexual excitement. Cline says this addiction is so powerful that his severely affected clients have to use medications such as Depo Prover to try reduce the s*x drive and eliminate s*x fantasies and may need to attend Sexaholics Anonymous for up to four nights a week to achieve sobriety and break the stranglehold of their addiction. Virtually no casual user/viewer of p*rn is exempt from the addictive effect of exposure to it. The accessibility and anonymity of p*rn on the Internet increases the danger.

 

Step 2:           Escalation in the individual's need for more explicit, deviant and sexually shocking material to achieve the same level of sexual stimulation.

 

Step 3:           Desensitisation towards initially gross and shocking material so that, in time, this material becomes acceptable and desirable to the viewer.

 

Step 4:           Increased tendency to start ‘acting out’ sexual activities seen in p*rn. Not everyone who views p*rn will rape, but the likelihood of committing rape goes up.

Don’t you see how viewing p*rn can enslave you and possibly lead you to harm others – even those you love?

The p*rn industry wants to get you hooked, so that they can make more money out of you!

Watching p*rn is viewing abused, drugged prostitutes Research indicates that about 60–80% of women, who work in the s*x industry,  were sexually abused as children. It is very rare to find ‘p*rn stars’ who started out of a freely chosen desire. Along with poverty, broken families and lack of education, childhood abuse is very common. Many ‘p*rn star’ actresses admit they experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbours. Then some of them ended up as teenage runaways and were picked up by pimps. They were taught at a young age that sex makes them valuable. They only escape one circle of abuse by entering another; they can't run from the pain so they go towards it. Fast forward a few years and they find themselves drunk and drugged on a p*rn set, as they re-live the same abuse they experienced growing up. Ex p*rn performer, Shelley Lubben, has documented how hundreds of ‘p*rn performers’ that she knows of, committed suicide.

Imagine a picture of a naked black man in a dog collar, on a leash, on all fours. The image is appalling. It would be regarded as racist by most people. Yet this is a very common way women are depicted in p*rn.

Free speech or sex slavery?
Former Senior Advisor on Trafficking for the Office for Democracy and Global Affairs US State Department, Laura J. Lederer, summarised the link between p*rn, prostitution and trafficking in the following four points:

1. Some types of p*rnography actually use trafficked victims, some of which were recruited via fake job advertisements.

2. Some traffickers film the acts that their victims are forced to perform.

3. P*rnography is used in sex trafficking and the sex industry to train women and children what to do.

4. P*rnography creates and provides rationalisations for exploiters as to how and why their sexually exploitive behaviors are acceptable.

If you view or buy p*rn, you are helping to perpetuate and fund modern-day slavery (human trafficking)!

How to Block P*rn on the InternetPlace a good filter on your computer that can prevent you, or your children, accessing, or stumbling on porn websites. South Africa’s only family friendly Internet Service Provider that uses the best filtering software available is www.virtuenet.co.za. Virtuenet recommends www.k9webprotection.com as the best free web filter. Internet accountability services (which track the websites visited and send these to an accountability partner) can be downloaded from www.covenanteyes.com.

See the www.purehopeblog.net for excellent short articles on cultivating a pure lifestyle for and with your family.

How to Block P*rn on Your PhoneP*rn websites can be blocked from a Vodacom phone by dialling *111*123# from the cell phone you want to block and from an MTN phone by dialling *101# and following the menu prompts. (Cell C and 8-ta do not yet have porn website-blocking features). These only block websites and not SMSs or MMSs.

Parents should not give their children BlackBerry handsets using a BIS (Blackberry Internet Service) subscription. As BlackBerry uses their own private network which encrypts the data, this will render both Vodacom’s and MTN’s parental controls useless.

 

Visit www.cellphonesafety.co.za for useful information on blocking porn websites on all types of cell phones, disabling apps, cell phone addiction and more.

“Jesus said: ‘Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?’ Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’” John 8:32-36

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Become a fighter!

Addicted? Need help? Call STOP: 083 463 4762 or Christians for Truth:  082 807 2831 for counselling.

For youth resources, including articles and videos you can share on social media, visit http://frontline.my-mailer.com/link.php?M=2365&N=868&L=824&F=H. Invite Africa Christian Action to give a Fight the New Drug presentation at your school assembly or youth group.

Contact Christian Action for tips on protecting your family and resources for fighting the p*rn plague.

Download this article as a tract here.

See also:The Bible and P*rnography
Finding Freedom from P*rnography
The Secret in the Pew – Hope for the P*rn Addict
How to Block P*rn On Your Phone

Resources Available
Every Young Man’s Battle DVD (58 minutes, R155)
Somebody’s Daughter DVD (62 minutes, R135)

Available from Christian Liberty Books: Email: admin@christianlibertybooks.co.za, or Tel/fax: 021-689-7478, http://frontline.my-mailer.com/link.php?M=2512&N=615&L=37&F=H.

Africa Christian Action
PO Box 23632
Claremont
7735 Cape Town

South Africa
Tel: 021-689 4481
E-mail: info@christianaction.org.za
Web: http://www.christianaction.org.za/

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Christmas is your birthday

Christmas is a celebration that Jesus, who was God, became flesh like us.
“In the beginning was the Word,… and the Word was God… And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” Jn. 1:1,14

When He became flesh, he took all humans past and future in himself, just as all humans were in Adam when he was created. As the second Adam, all humans were objectively born again in Jesus when he was born of the virgin Mary. (Yes, a man can enter the womb and be born again-we all did when Jesus was in the virgin womb, and we were with him when he went into the virgin tomb.)

So, when Jesus was born, we were born with him, when he lived, we lived with him, when he died, we died with him, when he rose, we rose with him, when he ascended to the Father we ascended with him and are now seated in heavenly places.
“Or are you ignorant that all who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore, we were buried with Him through baptism into death.” (Rom. 6:3,4)

“We being dead in trangression, He made us alive together with Christ (by grace you are being saved), and raised us up together and seated us together in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus” (Eph 2:5, 6)

“For you died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3).

We share in the life of Jesus, his mission, his suffering, his glory, and his Triune life with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This is what the angel announced when he said: “For, behold, I proclaim good news to you, a great joy, which will be to all people, because today a Savior, who is Christ the Lord was born…” (Lk. 2:10,11)

What good news! Share it! Tweet it! BBM it! MixIt!

“Marriage is so last century!”

“Marriage is so last century!” said a colleague during a conversation to a group of us during a tea break. When I heard that, it dawned on me that I got married last century! “Wow, maybe she has a point”, I thought to myself.

Then I read a headline online, “Is Marriage obsolete?” by ABC World News. “Not only are more marriages on the rocks these days, so is marriage itself, according to a new study by the Pew Research Center” wrote Jessica Hopper.

What is marriage, anyway? I know a couple, Thabo and Lulu (not their real names). After a few years of being in a relationship (not complicated as some facebookers would say), Thabo sent his family to Lulu’s to ask for her hand in marriage. So in January 2010, Thabo’s family went to Lulu’s family, who named their lobola (dowry). In June 2010, Thabo sent his family to pay the lobola. In November, Thabo and Lulu went to the magistrate’s offices to sign the “marriage register” and came back with their marriage certificate. They then started planning their wedding. So, in September 2011, they had a fabulous wedding in their church officiated by their pastor. Their four year old daughter was the flower girl in her beautiful pink dress.

I ask again, what is marriage, anyway? When did Thabo and Lulu get married? Did they get married in June 2010 when Thabo paid the lobola? Or did they get married in November 2010 at the magistrate’s offices? Their marriage certificate says they got married on 19 November 2010. Or did they get married on 24 September 2011 at their church? Or did they get married on 30 September 2007 when Lulu moved in with Thabo at his townhouse after their daughter was born? Or did they get married on New Year’s Day 2007 when Thabo and Lulu “moved their relationship to the next level” and had sex for the first time?

For us to know when Thabo and Lulu got married, we must know what marriage is. Only when we know what marriage is, shall we know whether “marriage is so last century”, or whether it is even obsolete.

I want to address the question of marriage, “unmarried” couples living together, sex before marriage, polygamy, serial monogamy, and other related issues. This article is not for sensitive readers, but it is not x-rated.

Marriage has several dimensions, that is, the spiritual dimension, the socio-cultural dimension, and the legal dimension. The latter two are human inventions.

The original dimension of marriage is the spiritual dimension. This is what God instituted when he created humans male and female. In this dimension, marriage is consummated by sexual intercourse. The first time a couple have sex, that’s the time they get “married”. It is on the basis of that sexual act, that God fuses the man and the woman into one flesh. As it is written, “they become one flesh”(Gen. 2:24, NRSV). It does not matter whether it is two teenagers having sex, or two colleagues having an office fling, or a man picking up a prostitute in the street and taking her to a hotel room, or a man having sex with his wife on their wedding night. That act constitutes marriage!

“And don’t you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” (1 Cor. 6:16, NLT). When Rebekah arrived with Abraham’s servant, it says that “Then Isaac took Rebekah into his tent; he married her, and thus she became his wife.” (Gen. 24:67, New American Bible). There was no wedding, no fanfare, no magistrate. He simply took her into the tent, had sex with her, and they were married!

In the Old Testament, God told Moses to tell the people of Israel, “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to anyone and sleeps with her, he must pay the customary dowry and accept her as his wife.” (Exo. 22:16). Regarding people ordained as High Priests, God gave this instruction: “The high priest must marry a virgin. He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution.” (Lev. 21:13-14, NLT).

Talking about divorce, Jesus said, “a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matt. 5:32, NLT).

What does all this mean? It means that a man and a woman become one flesh when they have sex together. When two teenagers have sex as virgins, they are de facto getting married. When a man has extramarital sex with another woman, he has effectively divorced his wife, and married the mistress he is sleeping with. When a polygamous husband sleeps with his wives, he effectively divorces and remarries each time he sleeps with any of them. When a man picks up a prostitute, he effectively divorces his wife and becomes one flesh with the prostitute. This is why premarital or extramarital sex is prohibited by the orthodox Christian teachings. It is not prohibited on social, cultural, moral or even religious grounds. It is prohibited on spiritual grounds. It is because of what sex means. Sex = Marriage.

When a virgin sleeps with a person for the first time, God makes the virgin one flesh with the other person. “Making one flesh” is a deep spiritual truth which goes into the very being of the couple. That is why many people, after they are divorced, they end up with the same kind of person they divorced. In fact, they may divorce and remarry ten times; they will more often than not end up with the same kind of person. It is probably because the first sexual relationship they had made them one flesh with that kind of person, and their soul continues to look for that person.

Most polygamous men marry the same type of woman. Why? It is probably because they have been made one flesh with that kind of person. Every time they look for a spouse, their soul is yearning for a particular kind of person. It is extremely dangerous to have premarital sex or extramarital sex. It is like having organ transplant without checking for organ compatibility. It is a medical disaster. In this case, it is a spiritual disaster.

By his grace, God can undo the spiritual damage you do to yourself by having premarital or extramarital sex, but the scars remain for the rest of your life. It is just not worth it.
Going back to our couple, Thabo and Lulu, they got married on 1 January 2007 “when they took their relationship to the next level". “The socio-cultural and legal dimensions of marriage were human inventions to deal with promiscuity. Speaking of divorce, Jesus said “Moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matt. 19:8-9, NLT). When the disciples understood what Jesus was saying to them, they said, “Then it is better not to marry!” (v. 10)

Throughout the ages, societies and different cultural groups started defining what it means to get married. So in many African cultures, we still have a practice of paying lobola to designate the beginning of a marriage. In western cultures, they added a legal requirement, which is what we call a civil marriage. So married couples are given a certificate of marriage. Of course many of these certificates are not worth the paper they are written on, because even as they sign at the magistrate, they are still involved in extramarital relationships.

You will be surprised to even hear that even the wedding in the church is a cultural invention by Christians. Christians do not have to be married in a church to be spiritually married. Wedding celebrations come in many forms around the world. Most of them are good, but they do not constitute the marriage. The wedding tradition is a great tradition, and I encourage Christian youth to get married in this way, and to remain celibate until their wedding night, when God will make them one flesh with their husband or wife. The wedding itself does not constitute the marriage. It is the sex on that wedding night that consummates the marriage.

Is marriage so last century? Of course not! As long as sex is happening, marriages are taking place all the time. In fact, Jesus said that “Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also will it be in the days of the Son of Man. People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage." (Lk. 17:26-27, NIV). Marriage is not about to become obsolete. There will be more of it until Jesus returns.

We live in a confused, messed up society which does not know what marriage is anymore. What we now call marriage is the devil’s lie to hide the truth of what damage we are doing to ourselves when we have premarital or extramarital sex. “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Cor. 6:18, NLT) Don’t do it!

If you are living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, surprise-surprise! You are married! You may just as well legalize it. Make it official. Pay the lobola or go to the magistrate, or call your pastor today. If you break up, you are as good as divorcing. Those who have gone through break ups, will tell you that the pain is as bad as getting a legal divorce. You see, the heart knows it is not just a break up, it is divorce. I hope this article will stop you in your tracks, and make you do the right thing. God bless you.

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The Power of Weakness

The fact that Jesus, who was God, became a human through conception in the womb of Mary, and being born as a helpless little baby, makes other people think that he was not God. How can an All Powerful God become so weak, subjecting himself to be killed by his own creation? Well, think of it this way…

Jesus enters the world where there are landmines everywhere, and people are being killed everyday. Instead of going in to remove all the landmines and show his power that way, he chooses to go into the world and stay there amongst the landmines. He takes all humans into himself. The landmine explodes and kills him together with all the humans he has taken into himself. This way he completely dis-empowers the landmines. He takes on the death of the landmine and comes back to life with all the humans that he had taken into himself. The landmine can no longer kill him. Once the landmine has exploded, it becomes powerless. It can no longer explode. He takes away the sting of sin and death. Humans gain victory over sin and death in him. And now humans are safe.

It reminds me of the teacher who called one of the naughty students to the front of the class so that he can give him 10 of the best. The boy obliged. The teacher got his cane, lashed the boy so hard that the lashings could be heard throughout the school. The boy remained quite throughout the beating. When the teacher finished, the boy stood up straight, and with a smile, looked at the teacher and said, “Are you done?” At that point, the teacher and his cane were completely immobilized. The boy had the victory, not by refusing to be beaten, but by submitting to the beating, to take the sting out of the beating. That is what Jesus did when he subjected himself to death, and then come out of the grave after 3 days. He took the sting out of death!

^“But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.” (Eph. 2:4-6)

^“For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Col. 3:3)

That, is the power of turning the other cheek, or going an extra mile. Whilst the actions appear weak from our perspective, they are powerful!

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